Change. Why was I so afraid of it? I fought so hard to hang on to what I had when what I had was shit. In the beginning, it was a lot of breaking promises to people, not showing up on time, etc. In the middle of it, even when I knew I was in trouble, I fought back so hard against people who would suggest that I needed help. What was I afraid of? Life kept getting worse and the amount of pain and suffering I was causing other people and myself began to grow exponentially. And